First sonnet- ok- I am doing a drop in audit class at CSC. Thanks M. We were supposed to write a sonnet. Anyways, my shortcomings with music translate into my very often not writing, but rather enjoying to read poetry. Well, kind of hard to do that in a creative writing class. So I am proud to say that I did write a (what I think is) a half way decent sonnet- and it is my first. I did start to write a prose sonnet (with the attached argument that shakespeare/petrarch are dead- so the form are more of guidelines anyways) as a love note to a h.s. girlfriend about what my wife thinks of her (even though Marianne never met her) Anyways- shall I say-lame?
So- no bashing here's the sonnet without the title.
Let us be something kind like broken glass,
Of harsh talk between all the good flittings,
That shake and shook all the broken fittings
And ebbed our coarseness- Into our last-
As screens and the quiet gleams of cities
On bridges apart that span our distance
Let us break the rebar cages, consistence
(upon) our rages- and all our pretties
Blooming like flowers after thermal winds
When I myself being all the seeing
Of daffodils torn by mistrals being
Flutters between the shines of looming kinds-
Yes and I never finding your contrast
Let us make this visit our very last.
couple like/eye rhymes there- so not completely true to form, but I tried making them sneakily work- work? works?