First Sonnet

The camera isn't readily available. Marianne took it today and took pictures of the rabbits that I (finally!!) moved into the community pen. 1 buck, 4 does- food, shelter and water. Anyways, he should be doing alright, but at first his simple, sneaky attempts at mounting failed with the 4 does ducking for cover- for the last couple years rabbit mating has occurred in a small pen- now that they have 120 square feet looks like flowers, a movie and foreplay will necessitate. Very happy to see a few of the bunnies in a much more humane, loving environment. I'll be the first to say it- I love seeing those guys run around and happy- trying to figure out how to get more of them into a community environment. The tough part is I do need to keep up on pedigrees, and select stock. So cages are partially a necessity.

First sonnet- ok- I am doing a drop in audit class at CSC. Thanks M. We were supposed to write a sonnet. Anyways, my shortcomings with music translate into my very often not writing, but rather enjoying to read poetry. Well, kind of hard to do that in a creative writing class. So I am proud to say that I did write a (what I think is) a half way decent sonnet- and it is my first. I did start to write a prose sonnet (with the attached argument that shakespeare/petrarch are dead- so the form are more of guidelines anyways) as a love note to a h.s. girlfriend about what my wife thinks of her (even though Marianne never met her) Anyways- shall I say-lame?
So- no bashing here's the sonnet without the title.

Let us be something kind like broken glass,

Of harsh talk between all the good flittings,

That shake and shook all the broken fittings

And ebbed our coarseness- Into our last-

As screens and the quiet gleams of cities

On bridges apart that span our distance

Let us break the rebar cages, consistence

(upon) our rages- and all our pretties

Blooming like flowers after thermal winds

When I myself being all the seeing

Of daffodils torn by mistrals being

Flutters between the shines of looming kinds-

Yes and I never finding your contrast

Let us make this visit our very last.

couple like/eye rhymes there- so not completely true to form, but I tried making them sneakily work- work? works?

Zac