Tuesday, March 1, 2011

You might be a farmer if...

So I was picking up eggs tonight, and thinking about what I would write if I were to write a book about farming. I will quickly note that I am too young, and far too inexperienced to write on such a topic, but still I thought about it. Quickly here is what I came up with:

The Modern Day Small Farmer: 3000 Things NOT to Do!
A Memoir of Things Gone Wrong

And here are just a few of the headlines.

1. Headlamps are for emergencies, not for everyday use; go to bed.
2. Roosters do not lay eggs- so don't have more than one.
3. Your wife is not always right, but most of the time she is or knows better; so listen.
4. Count your pennies, but if you are relying on them, then you're doing something wrong.
5. There are 168 hours in a week. At least 56 of them are for sleep.
6. Build your nest boxes before you get your hens.
7. It doesn't get better, and easier, unless if you take the time to make things better and easier.
8. I processed about 1200 chickens last year, and made some money doing it, but it wasn't fun, not at all. Refer to #9.
9. Put a calendar on the barn wall, and put a tally on each day that you got frustrated with something. Then see how many tallies it takes for you get a clue. Refer to #3.
10. 5 gallon buckets are glorious, wonderfully industrious things, but don't be a dumbass lugging water three times a day to 900 meat birds with them.

Good-Night. Morning will come soon enough.

2 comments:

  1. Very nice Zac. Thanks.
    I still don't have a clue even after all those tallies. Actually, I need to put down a tally because I'm frustrated about forgetting to tally down the daily frustrations which means I'm not any closer to getting a clue...which means I need another tally (& a bigger calendar!)
    - Greg

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